Why to Chase, When you can Simply Replace

But I can’t live without you for one single day, let alone the whole life’, said Snigdha to Arun. Arun rolled his eyes and replied in a jaded tone, ‘Then why do you do such silly things all the time. You know how much I love you and still you went out with that guy friend of yours’.

Does that sound familiar to you? If yes, this one is for you. You probably don’t realize but you are getting into a mess… read on  to know how…

Love is all around. In the restaurants, on the streets, supermarkets, nightclubs, CCDs, KFCs, libraries (seriously? Yep, I spotted a few lovebirds recently)… anyway you got the gist… there are (seemingly) happy couples everywhere. But what we don’t know is what goes on, when they are not under the public scrutiny, when it’s just the two of them talking, sharing, and arguing. Be it a long distance relationship or the easier one (no offence!), there’s one thing common in all of them… some name it as possessiveness, some demands and some lionize  it to the extent of care.

Relationship has become an integral part of our lives… we are so engrossed in it that we don’t realize that we are losing the sense of self sufficiency. The fact (yes, the FACT!) that our happiness depends on how we do things and not on how our boyfriend treats us has been cruelly stashed under our presumptions. And this leads to insecurity, a feeling which most of us have experienced and which in turn affects your relationship, the one thing you’ve always cocooned with too much care.

So what should we do? Just walk out of the relationship? If I say yes, it’d make me mean and insensitive! Right? Now let’s have a look at what you do to yourself… you spend the greater part of your day in texting, whatsapping or BBMing whatever is your mode of connecting.  And in turn, what you get? Do complaints stop? That one message you forgot to check or the one call which you missed to pick can be the ammunition to destruct the peace of your already-not-so-peaceful mind. We say we belong to the new era… we are more open in our thoughts and actions. How open do you rate yourself when you have to lie to your boyfriend that you went to the party with your girlfriends and no guys involved? And to some you can’t even commit that you went to a party!

 

Now, think when was the last time you read a book by your favorite author? Or just sat on the terrace without worrying about your ever so ringing phone? Or you learnt a new recipe from your mom while accompanying her in the kitchen? The point is, what have you done to your own self in the zest to have the happily ever after! It’s not any less important to love yourself than you love your guy. Yes girls! There’s nothing better than feeling pampered but it doesn’t have to be someone else to pamper you when you and all people in the world are the most capable of it. Take out time for yourself, do things that make you happy (apart from talking to your boyfriend), write diary, introspect and feel the life you are living, for otherwise, your life is being eaten into by the many chores anyway.

Now, am not saying that the relationship is not important. Love is, of course, the most beautiful of feelings. Walking out of a relationship is not funny and I wouldn’t suggest you to do so but another thing I wouldn’t suggest you, is to be in a relationship which inflicts pain on you all the time.  Where you have to lie for the smallest of the things, beg for what you anyway deserve and appease when it’s not your fault. If the guy you are presuming to be in love with you is actually even close to love… he’ll understand, in fact, encourage your efforts to connect to yourself. The most unfortunate of the break ups is the break up with your own self… which most of us are naively bearing with. And trust me, when you find time for yourself and make yourself happy there will be less expectations which would be such a relief (ask any guy) and may be you’ll be able to subsist your relationship with much fervor.

What you need to decide now is where to draw the line. When to walk out of it. And we all know it in our heart that that’s it! (Do we not?) What stops us is the fear of breaking up… yes! While men suffer with commitment-phobia women have a phobia towards breakups. It is difficult to accept and live through but not accepting it cuz you are too afraid to let go or you are so addicted to it or you wanna be the sugarcoated candy who can never hurt anyone (but herself) is even worse. Now tell me… who is being insensitive here? Be nice to yourself, don’t live an illusion. Not being in a relationship is better than to be in one with a nonexistent love apart from the other benefits of being single! And you never know your much awaited prince charming on the white horse (read: Porsche) may be around the corner.

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