Is It Possible For Your Best Friend To Be Your Lover?

Have you at any point fallen in love with your best friend? Or is the love of your life also your best friend? When did you figure this out? And when did you sort the confusion?

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Liking your best friend is one thing; you care about him, wish the best for him and come to his rescue when he’s down and low. But when did that platonic love exceed its limit and become something else. Also, falling for your best friend, who’s been around for so long (you don’t call someone your “best friend” if they’ve been with you for just a few months) feels very natural. But though this situation is widespread and can be found everywhere, the situation can be quite tough to deal with. And it gets even trickier if the feeling is one sided (and your friend has absolutely no idea about the feelings you’ve developed). At times, you have to struggle against it, telling yourself over and over again of what the repercussions might be, and at times you just give in, leaving everything to flow along the course of action. It is for you to decide if you wish to keep the friendship intact, fearing the drastic change and alterations it can embark, or make efforts to turn it into something more romantic and passionate.

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It is crucial that you’d be clear about what you want to be lasting and not just temporary. Because if you yourself are not clear and go ahead with your heart, chances are that you’ll ruin the strong and steady friendship. So analyse your emotions and become very clear about it in your head. Don’t mistake momentary passion for true love. If you’re only attracted to your friend (because he’s funny, been around with you during your break up, is fun to hang out with or any other reason), then stay calm and wait for the feelings to eventually fade away.

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But if you feel that this will last for as long as you can imagine, then we suggest you go ahead with it. Since repressing and denying your emotions will only make you regret the decision later. Also, it is capable of changing the entire dynamic of your relationship with him/her since no matter how hard you try; your behavior will be altered making it difficult for him/her to understand. They will wonder what went wrong, if it’s something they did to cause you to change and you will struggle to hide the secret.

Prioritize your relationship. If you cannot let go of the friend in him/her and fear the change it can cause to your happy go lucky friendship then let it remain this way. But if the love you feel is too stubborn to go away and you can resist but imagine a happily ever after with him, and go and take the dip. But always remember, that there will be no turning back. You can only go forward with your companionship, because this is a state of no return. After the confession, you both will find it difficult to keep things the way they used to be.

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Also, there is a fair chance of rejection. He/she might not be romantically interested in you, so weigh the pros and cons before plunging into the sea of the unknown. Be courageous and practical and don’t expect an overnight change. Also, if your best friend does agree that he/she feels similarly for you, be prepared for the modification in the equation. It is very natural to start feeling for your friend, since you know them so well. He/she gets your humor  hears all your secrets and provides you comfort when you need it the most. But to cross the boundaries put forth through years of association can be very tricky and is entirely your call. Because if he/she accepts your move and becomes your lover, you cannot tell him/her everything that you could tell before (like past relationships, a hot guy/chick you met at the bar/a dream about someone else the other night etc.)

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In future, if the relationship does not work out (how mortifying to even think of such a scenario), experience says you two cannot go back to being what you were since there is some hurt and emotional baggage involved. Lovers can come and go, but true friends are hard to find and even harder to maintain. If you are dismantling the bond you’ve created after endless laughs and tears, then go ahead and make your best friend your lover.

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