Women Bartenders- Tricks of the Trade and How to be One

Women bartenders? Tell me, what is the first thing that crosses your mind when you read this word? A hot chick who’s not too high on morals. Well, you got the first part right. But with the latter? Thanks, but no thanks.

Though woman bartenders are not a widely found species in the Indian bars and pubs currently, a steady yet remarkable change can be witnessed. The idea of young women serving liquor is no longer taboo to the self proclaimed social brigade but is extremely welcoming to the young party goers. The swift, easy swag of a female, mixing and pouring you a drink with those long manicured fingers can fix half of your problems even before you get started with your drinking spree. And sigh! Who can ever undermine that mysterious aura.

So here, we bring to you some fruitful advice on how to take up this exciting profession, the ways to stick around with it and make your experience as thrilling as possible.

  • First and foremost, make a list of do’s and dont’s for yourself. And stick to it. Yes, we mean it. This must be your bible while at work so much so that you shouldn’t permit yourself to indulge even occasionally.
  • Okay. So you’re hot. And every guy (single, married, homo, whatever) who visits your bar hits on you. Maybe, some people bring you business just so that they could see you each day. But does that mean that you take all of them too seriously and be the philanthropist that you are (read sleep around). No lady, it clearly does not imply that. Be picky, be choosy and play hard to get.
  • Uh oh! Did we just expect too much righteousness? No, we aren’t that boring either. Had that been the case, we’d currently be writing on, “how to be a good nun”. So flirt. Yes girls, be the biggest and the best flirt that any guy ever met (avoid getting followed to your home). Maintain eye contact, keep your gaze deep and keep it even. Don’t let any of your customers feel neglected or ignored by just focussing on one (even if his bill is mounting with every drink). There are other clients that are craving as much attention and will keep coming back only if you treat them right and treat them special.
  • Work on your capacity. Men (and at times even women looking for a friend or just a fellow gay buddy) will buy you drinks and will want you to share a cocktail or two. Do not be a sissy and say a no that time. People conveniently take offense with such a gesture and chickening out can cause you a lot of hard feelings. Shots, beer, tequila, vodka, whiskey, be equipped to pour down everything down your throat, sometimes all in an evening.
  • Be a tough nut to crack. The most annoying of drunkards can irritate the crap out of you. If you can make people wonderful drinks, you can also show them the way out without needing the help of the bouncers. After all, you’re a rough bitch. Are u not?
  • Learn a trick or two. This is a crowd pleaser and you can have the entire bars attention during those few entertaining minutes. People tend to bring in more friends and co workers if they like so what you do to trick them away. It can also give you an upper edge over your fellow colleagues.
  • Be the much loved agony aunt to the sulky cry babies. Listen to them, vent out that how miserable their life is, how true love has always eluded them, and where this country is heading. Just listen, given an occasional nod or a brief sigh. This is enough to assure them that someone understands their pain and not everyone is an out and out douche.
  • Know where to draw the line, in terms of everything. If you’re listening to someone’s melancholy, don’t sympathize to the extent that you’d have to grab a drink or two,  just to overcome the trauma or get philosophical with the “meaning of life”. Haah! And of course, male attention should not make you succumb to being an all time slut.
  • Evaluate your product. Know what people want, which drinks you’re mixing, the possibilities of creating a few and the tastes and benefits of all. If a customer comes up to you saying that the menu at your bar does not appear appetizing to them, be prepared to pass on a quick smile and get started with creating a master piece (we meant, drink!). Passing out a silent grunt and rolling your eyes in their direction just does not help. Come on, it’s not you that they are complaining about.
  • Don’t make ‘em wait- You’ve always hated waiting for your order to arrive at the restaurant, standing in the queue and a boring day to end. Why make them wait, then? Show off your bartending prowess with much élan and let people wonder how you do such wonderful things all in the span of a few seconds.
  • Never judge. What are you there for? Money? Sweet escape? Or just the kick of it? You have no right to be that behind the bar critic and decide how one should or should not lead his life. Hookers, criminals, depressed people, maniacs, tall, short, fat, skinny, ugly, hot, rich, poor, all sorts of people will visit your bar. All you have to do is to make them curious drinks that will submerge their senses, for the time, the intoxication lasts and will make them come back for more and more.

A pleasing smile, a charming wit and the fastest drink is what will take you places.

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