Friends with Benefits: Did this Just Relate to You?

The title tempted you? Isn’t it? And you’re expecting a piece of story that will be a part of your memory for a very long time. Okay, at least this weekend? So to all the people, who are benefitting their friends and are getting benefitted in return, we will not disappoint you.

The term typically entails a casual sexual relationship between two people without having to carry the emotional baggage that usually comes with a close, committed association. The idea is to provide happiness to each other (no matter how momentary), holiday together, share the little details of life, seek a genuine companionship and of course, enjoy regular, full throttle, exciting sex. So let’s get to discussing the nitty gritty of one of the most widely seen liaisons of our times.

I like you, you like me. But do I wish to be the mommy to your kids and see my hair turn grey in the dressing room of your bedroom? I think not. So what do we do? Sit here ideally, give time some time and let the passion between us die down? Or we do remind ourselves that yes, though we respect the times when elusiveness and shyness meant a world to people, we currently are inhabitants of the 21st century where sex sells, kids engage in intercourse before reaching puberty and divorce is rampant; all leading to dwindling of faith and the urge for instant gratification. And boy! did we just miss the fact that we’ve put men on the moon and mars too (that’s also an achievement, right!)

Hollywood filmmakers have given us marvels on the subject. “No strings attached” starring Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman and “Friends with benefits” featuring Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis have both dealt with how life was perfect and so much fun until one fell for the other, fantasy fell apart and things descended back to reality. But in both the cases, realisation hit soon after one of the partners started behaving awkwardly, and the other only got more perturbed as to what led to this sudden alteration in behaviour. But as it often happens in the movies, the two got the confusion sorted and lived happily ever after. Closer home, the recently released “Cocktail” put light on an easy-ish tie between Veronica and Gautam until Veronica got too possessive of her chilled out bed friend and ruined life for herself. [Gautam (read men) remained undaunted].

However, it would be unfair to segregate both the sexes and provide judgement on who benefits the most from such a “no strings attached” alliance. For if we’ve witnessed men running away from a loyal and unswerving bond, we all have our share of female brat friends who aren’t looking for a “husband” in every man she spends the night with and believes in “living this moment”. After all, sharing your bed is one thing, imagining your future with someone is another.

The idea of a fun, laidback and easy going union is luring and enticing to a lot of people (and not just the commitment phobic’s). Friends by the day, partners by consent at night, what more can anyone ask for? And haah, without the melodrama that a serious affair or marriage necessitates. Pure bliss. But is it always that easy? So effortless? Human nature, my dear ladylove, is at an altogether different plane. It isn’t as undemanding and uncomplicated like you and me. It conspires, schemes and connives against us mortal beings and twists and turns logic and reason to remind us, that we aren’t the stud we thought ourselves to be.

But how lasting are these relationships? Does it not become too much of a turmoil at some point? The hugging, the cuddling that the fairer sex cherishes, is seldom seen in such an association. But no, we aren’t judging anyone here. After all, to each, his own. Moreover, is it that necessary to be morally right? Whatever happened to the good old “school of fun”? And have we not been taught to live by the principle, “life is short, live it large”.

The trend has come under the ire of the preachers of the Indian culture, who have very conveniently taken it upon themselves to pass judgement on who’s right, who’s wrong, what’s not right and how wrong. This mentally disarmed breed is vehemently opposing the “westernization” of our “Hindustani sanskriti” and how this is not what Ram and Gandhi ever expected of their children. But what the heck? This is not what we’d once expected of the world too? Cheating, unfaithful partners, heartbreaks, failures, divorces, separation. Sigh! So what is the only escape? Quick, happy encounters! Ain’t it?

A word of caution: Refrain from falling for your partner, you little lovestruck bug. For this is the recipe to disaster and can cause you much trouble. The experience is part bewildering, part perplexing. We advise you to toss aside the giant monsters of confusion and jealousy and be the lil miss sunshine that you are! 🙂

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