The Oxford English dictionary defines forgiveness as ‘to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offense or debt’ while Wikipedia says that forgiveness is ‘the renunciation or cessation of resentment, indignation or anger as a result of perceived offense, disagreement or mistake or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.’But what does forgiveness means to you? Is it that easy to forgive someone who terribly wronged you when you could never ever think of hurting that person even slightly?
Many states that forgiving someone depend on the magnitude of crime the other person has committed against you and/or the kind of relationship you share with him/her. Parents tend to forgive their children no matter what (in some cases, it takes years but when it comes to forgiveness, they surely do), you forgive an unfaithful partner and give them a chance to alter their behavior you forgive friends for not meeting your expectations at times. Then there are the little everyday misdeeds that you tend to give a pass, just because you value the other person more than the hurt they caused you and you somehow want them to stay in your life no matter what.
Religions across the world emphasize on the importance of letting go the way people error you, harm you and hurt you. They teach that holding a grudge will be little you, demean you and stunt your growth in this life. But as they say, things are easier said than done. We humans are programmed to fit everything into our “memory”. The good, the bad and the ugly everything finds a safe shelter in our hearts and minds where we can go get in touch with all the experiences no matter how much we like or dislike doing so.
Forgiving heals us in ways that cannot remain hidden. It helps you accept that life may not have been fair at a few points, but nonetheless, it’s YOUR life and this is all you’ve got. You cannot live outside it; you cannot live against it and cannot outgrow it. It is your biggest blessing in the universe, to be alive, to create, to feel and to witness. And to do all this, it is essential that you bring to the fore a part of you that believes in healing the world as much as it wants to heal you. Greater performance, satisfaction, contentment and fulfillment come about with the violently shunned power of forgiveness. Therefore, in order to reach all these goals, you must not shun it or banish it but embrace it. The beauty of forgiveness will shine through you and you will feel a strange yet beautiful sense of liberation. You are doing this good not just for the other person, releasing him from his bad karma is surely praiseworthy but you are doing the greatest good to your own self too. You are untying yourself from the worldly forces that join you from this person, thus causing freedom and deliverance of your soul in a small yet laudable way.
So free those who wrong you, for it is not upon you to judge or hand out punishment to anyone. Everyone pays the result of their karma. And as someone has rightly said, “To err is human, to forgive divine”.