Conflict, in a relationship, is almost ineluctable. Sometimes you might feel that instead of immense love between both of you, your relationship is sinking. The quality of your relationship depends on how smartly you handle this conflict. If used creatively, it can enhance your relationship and bring you closer, but, if not handled properly, may push you and your partner apart. The key to resolve conflict is communication.
Here are some tips to fortify communiqué between you and your partner.
1. Hold His Hands
Whenever you converse with your partner, hold his hands or stay physically connected. This gives a feeling that you still care for each other. However, this trick is not applicable in every situation.
2. Listen Carefully
Are you really listening, or thinking about what to utter next, as your partner finish talking? Listening doesn’t mean only hearing. It means understanding what the person in front of you wants to communicate. Don’t interrupt your partner, when he is putting his view points. Communication is a two way process. If you won’t listen him carefully, he too will not be interested to listen you.
3. Take a Break
Sometimes you get so furious that the normal discussion takes the form of an argument or a fight. In case, you or your partner begins to exhibit some harsh communication patterns, take a break and cool down. Think what exactly you want to say. In rage, don’t utter something for which, you will have to repent later.
4. Watch Your Body Language
Your body language also affects the effectiveness of communication. Open body language brings both of you closer. On the flip side, closed body language takes you apart, thereby causing the opposite effect. If your partner evades eye contact or crosses his arms, it shows that your approach might be too hostile.
5. Stick to the Issue
Don’t bring past conflicts, while dealing with the current one. If you will bring past hurts to present, it will make the conversation perplexing and it will become difficult to find a solution. Never change the matter as part of your defense mechanism. In case, discussion moves in other direction, quit it soon.
6. Be Empathetic while Reacting to Criticism
It’s difficult to hear your criticism. Neither gives knee-jerk response instantly nor get defensive when your partner criticizes you. Criticism is always blown up with the emotions of other person. Understand his pain and react with empathy.
7. Try to Understand His Point of View
We want the things to be looked by our way. We expect the other person to hear us. But, for that, it is equally essential for you to understand other’s point of view. Then only, you can explain your perspective in a better way.
8. Rummage around for Solutions
Proving that ‘I am right’ or ‘winning’ the argument is not the purpose of communication. Try to find the way either through a new solution or compromise that can make you and your partner happy.
Evade assumptions through communication. Speak what you yearn for, either through email, text, face-to-face, or in writing.